Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize