I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
