I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
