OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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