On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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