Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
