Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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