He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
