i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
