next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
