I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
