the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
