Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
