Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
