i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
