I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize