and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
