Buhtt sex?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
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Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
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Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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