Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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