Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
