if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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