Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
