Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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