You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
