I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.