Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
