Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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