that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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