hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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