Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
