I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
