i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
