i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
