you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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