***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
