I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
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