I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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