yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
