Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
