I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
