I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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