Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
