There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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