All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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