dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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