Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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