I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize