Your dad touched me again.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
