can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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