i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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