I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize