Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
