In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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