I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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