No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
