420 ftw
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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