Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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