Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
